Joy

Happy Sunday Blog Land!

I woke up with this song bubbling up in my soul! I invite you to reflect on it and enjoy as you go through this Sabbath Day!

Fuel for the Fire

Although there is always fuel for the blog fire in my world, I seem to be at a little bit of a loss as to what I should write. I'm once again tossing around the idea of posting excerpts from the book I started writing about 3 years ago. I have considered posting excerpts before...but I found that the subject was still too close to my heart and not ready to be exposed to the criticism of the masses. I probably have not picked up the manuscript in almost a year...maybe more. Even now, thinking about the things that I have written brings tears to my eyes. In some of the darkest days of my young life I poured my sadness, my anger, hurt, angst, brokenness, and devastation into the words on a page. 


I did it to cope. 


The bulk of the story is finished but what is lacking is a solid ending. I haven't written it because I can only write of what I know...the end remains unseen. I mean...the major event was resolved but, I hate to leave the story there. It's kind of hard to publish a story that doesn't end, but merely stops. 


I'm also hesitant to post excerpts because aside from a few facts thrown in to make it more fun, the book is based largely on events that actually happened. Names have been changed, but all those involved will probably recognize themselves in one character or another and the story line is unmistakably my life. It is not my intent to reflect anyone in a negative light...and I tried to be as fair as I could, however, some people may not like what they read. I would like to avoid starting World War III. 


*Sigh* 


What's a girl to do? I think I'm ready to share my book with the world...but...maybe the world isn't ready? 


What do you think? I'd love to have your input, faithful followers...


To Post or Not to Post...That is the Question!

Of Shoes, of Ships, of Sealing Wax...and Gardening and Things...

I'm a little late, but on Friday I finally bought and repotted some flowers for our apartment balcony!

I went to Meijer just to look to see what they had and I walked out with a cart full of flowers, potting soil, and a few new flower pots. I didn't get any geraniums this time around, but I got Impatiens, a Vinca, and Marigolds. I've never planted marigolds before, so I hope they do ok. 

Shopping for flowers and then repotting them turned out to be a surprisingly emotional experience. Gardening was a pastime that my Granny loved and shared with me from the time I was very small. Last year was the first time I tried gardening for myself and I had tons and tons of questions for her. I remember that as soon as I left the store, I headed to her house to show her my flower purchases. She was so excited and told me exactly how to repot the flowers, how much soil to use, which flowers liked shade, which ones needed more sunlight, and how often to water each kind. I remember how her face lit up as I pulled the flowers out of the back of my car. 

As I planted my flowers this time, I found that I had forgotten some things and repeatedly had the urge to pick up the phone to call and ask Granny. As you can imagine, it was emotional to remember that she wasn't there. The holidays were hard without her...Mother's Day was strange without her...but by far...planting my flowers was the most gut-wrenching thing I've done without her. 

I miss her. 

Anyhow. 

The flowers have been successfully planted and I am happy to say, are already flourishing. Several of the impatiens have new blooms that have opened up and they're literally spilling over the side of the pot. As the warm months continue, I hope to get a few more flowers to add even more color to our balcony. I hope they do well...because this year's garden is for Granny. 

Book Me a Room In Capacitated

I was at work on Saturday, putting in some extra hours, when I ran across a hilarious little article in a Reader's Digest magazine. It's a very clever play on words...I love it and I hope you enjoy it too!

I have been in many places but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go there alone---you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. You have to be driven there, and I've made several trips, thanks to family, friends, and work. I'd like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not much into physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. I'm often in Formidable, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I get older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and the old heart pumping. And sometimes I think I am in Vincible, but life shows me I'm not. I have been in Deepdoodoo frequently. And the more adventures I have, the easier it is to end up there. 

Reader's Digest 

June 2012 Issue. 

TGIF

TGIF!


It's been an interesting week and a few unexpected things have happened. On Monday, when I was waiting for Big Brother to finish with his after school program, I noticed that Little Sis was sneezing a lot. I was hoping that it was just someone's perfume that was making her nose tickle, but I had the sneaking suspicion that it might be the start of a cold. Tuesday morning I was awakened at 8:00 with a phone call from the kids' dad, telling me that Little Sis had a cold, and could I come now because they didn't want to send her to school. *Sigh*. I knew it. I flew out of bed, into the shower, and then out of the house. The poor thing was miserable and just wanted to be held pretty much all day. I started popping 1000 mg Ester-C pills in the hopes that what she had wouldn't latch on to me...it didn't work. She didn't go to school on Wednesday either and by the end of the day, I was starting to feel a little tickle in my throat. 


Suffice it to say...I caught her bug. I will say though, that because I've been popping a ridiculous amount of Vitamin C, it seems as though my cold isn't as bad as hers was. I think by tomorrow I'll be as good as gold. Thank God...because I don't have time to be sick. 


I'm glad to have today off because if there's one thing I've learned about being sick, it's that getting ample rest is essential to recovering quickly. I have a great book that I'm in the middle of reading, sudoku puzzles, and netflix to keep me occupied and relaxed. I'm not planning on going anywhere until my hair appointment later today. 


This is random--- but my sister turned me on to this guy named Gotye...his style of music is a little different, but I'm really liking it...his voice is super mellow....perfect for a day of relaxing.

Brown Girl Turns 3 Shades of Red and Seeks Refuge Under Kitchen Table...

Have you ever done something so ridiculous, stupid, crazy, or self-destructive that temporary insanity is the only rational reason that could possibly justify your actions?

I have...today.

What is it that can make an otherwise perfectly rational, composed, and "together" woman absolutely lose it at times? I'm one of those analytical souls who tends to think through every possible action, every possible consequence...I mull over simple decisions...visualizing the long term effects that my decision will make. It is not in my normal everyday nature to be impulsive. 

And yet, there's a side of me that will throw caution to the wind and let the chips fall where they will, and pick up the pieces from there. 

However...the caution that I so recklessly threw to the wind, usually blows back and hits me dead in the face. Don't worry world, I haven't done anything stupid or dangerous...but...well...this was a situation where I should have quietly kept my opinion to myself instead of trying to persuade someone to see things from my point of view and to act accordingly. Some people, apparently, don't want to be told what to do by a bossy Leo...Hmm..who would've thought?! Ha. 

Well...I guess I'll crawl out from under the table now. 

Only as Old As...

In about 3 months I will be turning 25 years old. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!


Me and one of my best friends had a discussion---or rather, a mutual freak out session---about our approaching milestone birthdays. She will be turning 25 one month after I do. It's like when you hit that age you really aren't a kid anymore. When I step back and look at my life, it looks like a normal( but then again, what is normal?) adult life. I have an apartment... I have a car...I have a job...I have bills....I have responsibilities...It's hilarious because even though my life is all grown up, I still feel like that goofy little girl who laughed at everything, loved to randomly burst into singing and dancing fits, and be hugged by her mom.


I think that this is the first birthday that I have NOT looked forward to. It's crazy because I always imagined that by the time I hit 25, I would be doing the following:
1. Have a Bachelor's Degree in Political Science
2. Finishing Law School
3. Married or getting ready to get married
4. Working in a Law Office
5. Traveling


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


Which of these goals have I accomplished? Um...that would be...none of the above. As I look over this list of non-accomplishments I'm reminded once again, that I do not run my life. God has a purpose and a plan for my life and sometimes that purpose and plan doesn't quite line up with MY plan. If there's anything I can say about life it is to expect the unexpected and remember that all things work together for good to them who love God and who are the called according to His purpose.


Things have not gone according to plan in the least. If I had my druthers, things would be quite different. But then again...it is the unexpected things...good and bad...that have made me who I am. Heartbreak and disappointment are incredible teachers. It gives you a perspective and a wisdom that you would not have had otherwise.


So...I may not have not have accomplished the things I wanted to...but well...I'm still young! The possibilities are limitless...and my life is pretty much beautiful as it is. 25, here I come!!

Grumpy

By the time 6:00 rolled around yesterday evening I was so ready to go home, I would've walked if I had to. I actually love going to work everyday...most of the time. But yesterday was just one of those "off" days that we all experience every once in a while. From the moment that I woke up, I wanted to be left alone. Beware poor world, Leo the Lioness had her claws out. As you can imagine, a grumpy lion and a clingy 4 year old don't exactly mesh well. As it happens, the clingy 4 year old was also in a grumpy mood. Recipe for a long day. 


Now, I'm one of those people who hate the idea of the TV babysitting the kids. Which is kind of cool, because Little Sis and Big Brother are only allowed 1 hour of TV a day. Usually, I don't mind this at all because we have all kinds of fun adventures playing outside or running around the house. Yesterday...I wanted the TV to babysit. That, however, was not an option. So, I pulled out multiple toys for Little Sis and curled up in the corner of the couch with my pocket sized Sudoku book and went to work on it. It was only a matter of about 15 minutes before Little Sis was demanding in an absolutely irritating whiney voice that I play with her...that I go look for her little fake phone in the basement with her...that I do a puzzle with her...that she had to poop...that she didn't want to sit on the floor because it was hard...that she wanted to take pictures with my phone...and when did we have to go pick up Big Brother.


*Sigh*


My head was hurting and my anxiety level skyrocketed from about 6 to 15 in .5 seconds flat. As I got up to go look for her toy phone, Little Sis fell on the floor and proceeded to wrap herself around my leg, making it nearly impossible for me to walk. "Plaaay with meeee....plaaaay with meeeee". Oh dear Lord. 


So...we looked for her phone...which we did not find and then I played with her for quite some time...which of course, was still not enough time for her. She was so whiney that even her brother said at one point, "what's wrong with you? Stop acting like that". What she needed was a nice long nap...or a good spank. I could've done with a nap too. 


When it was time for their shows to come on PBS at 4:30 I was more than ready. I plopped them down in front of the TV and then stalked out of the room. I sat in the dining room with my earbuds in my ears and stared at the wall. For an hour. Ha.


I love both of those kids. But I had absolutely no patience for them yesterday. In retrospect, I feel kind of bad...I mean, I wasn't mean...just a lot less tolerant...which is a bit out of character for me. Oh well...today is a new day with no mistakes in it yet. 

Absence

Don't worry Blog Land! I haven't been abducted by anti-writing aliens or fallen off the edge of the earth! I am happy to announce, however, that I have finished another semester of college and am several steps closer to graduating next year! That being said, I'm sure you can now understand my almost 2 week absence from the Blog Scene and actually any other social scene. I've been immersed in last minute projects, extra credit papers, and of course, the dreaded finals. My initial plan was to take a couple of courses over the summer, but I've decided that to avoid burn out( and another 2 year school sabbatical) I should take a definite break for the next 3 months. I will be focusing on reading as many books as I can, lounging by the pool, and doing fun activities with the kiddos once they're out of school. As my time is now more of my own, I also hope to be a little more consistent with my postings. 


I'm seriously considering taking some kind of class just for fun...the Mellwood Arts Center has a lot of fun things to do like painting and drawing classes...I've also been considering taking tennis lessons. I can play tennis actually...just not well. Ha. But I do love it and it would be a fun way to stay active in the summer months. 


Anyhow, my absence has been explained and you are now somewhat updated on what's going in Wonderland. Ha. 


Until next time!


Enjoy my newest musical discovery...string quartet, Escala!