Run as Fast as You Can!

I was just sitting here, sipping on some peppermint tea, when the thought occurred to me, "you haven't blogged in over a week". Guess I should get on that, eh?

Well, what's the topic today Blogospehere? Pick your poison....actually I'm going to pick it for you.

I've got two topics rolling around in my mind and can't really figure out which one is more blog worthy at the moment.

Decisions, decisions...

Ok...I've got it.

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends about guys.

She asked me, "what does it mean when a guy says he can't give you what you want" but continues to talk to you as if you're still in a relationship?

With as serious a face as I could muster, I told her it means, " Run as fast as you can in the other direction. Do NOT pass go, Do NOT collect $200. Just RUN."

Her eyes got wide and her mouth fell open.

I snorted and then laughed.

I don't think that's what she was expecting to hear. Although I was kidding around with her, I was mostly serious. My own personal experience with relationships has taught me that what's really going on in a guy's head when he pulls the, "I can't give you what you want" is as follows, quoting from a fellow blogger,

‘I’ve told you that I cannot give you what you want. I am giving you a heads up and if you don’t have enough self-respect to move on and you stick around, I am not responsible for any pain that you may experience, even if I continue to get an ego stroke or lean on your shoulder and moan. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because I’m still around that I’m in a position to give you what you want – I’m not, but I am all out for getting my own needs met if you’re going to stick around and let me use you up.’

A bit blunt, but true nonetheless.  A decent guy will not only tell you he can't give you what you want, he will actually remove himself from the relationship and move on, allowing you the chance to do the same. A not-so decent guy? He's the one that will stick around to enjoy the fringe benefits, while you remain miserable because although you have a non-relationship relationship (ha, think about that one)it's not the kind of relationship you want, need, or deserve.

Quoting Natalie Lue again,

When a man makes statements like ‘I can’t give you what you want’ and stays in the relationship he’s a lazy man who is reshaping the relationship on his terms and trying to manage down your needs and expectations so that he can get his needs met with minimal contribution while marginalizing your own needs. He knows you’re not ‘the one’ but he’s OK with passing time. He’s saying ‘I can’t be the man you want but if you’re OK with sticking around for some sub par treatment, what kind of man would I be to pass up the fringe benefits?

I promise I'm not a she-woman man hater. These are, however, the facts of the matter, as I and plenty of other women have experienced them.

The conversation ended with her being thoroughly disgusted with the male in question and I have to admit, I was a little irritated too. But I couldn't place too much blame on this guy's shoulders. She was, after all, allowing the behavior to occur and we teach people how to treat us by what we accept from them.

She was also looking for a hidden meaning to his words. There weren't any. She simply didn't want to accept the fact that she was being very gently "let down".

Let me clarify, there is nothing wrong with a man telling a girl that he can't give her what she needs. What IS wrong is when after telling her that, he stays in the relationship or non-relationship or whatever he wants to call it. And then he says the girl is acting like a victim because she breaches the subject of his dismissal of her needs. " Well, I told you not to expect anything from me. I told you I couldn't be what you needed". And in his mind his hands are clean. He did, after all, tell you that. It's not his fault you stayed.

Ugh. What complete and utter rubbish.

His hands are NOT clean.

Ok. So maybe I am a she-woman man hater. Haha. I do have a bee in my bonnet and a bone to pick with the men who think they've gotten over on us women.

News Flash: THEY HAVE NOT.

Women of the World! In the words of Mrs. Banks...Cast off the shackles of yesterday!

Ok.

I'll get down from my soap box now.

Thoughts, Blog Land?

All quotes credited to: Reader Question: What does it mean when a man says, 'I can't give you what you want'? By Natalie Lue author of Baggage Reclaim

Disenchantment ---> Transitions

It's Midterm week.

I can't believe that the semester is already half way finished. For the most part I have been staying on top of things, and not procrastinating too terribly. Which is a vast improvement for me.

I'm afraid that there hasn't been anything particularly blog worthy going on in Wonderland....or perhaps I'm just a little too preoccupied with everything to really consider whether it's newsworthy or not. It could also be that most of my writing energy has been tunneled into pumping out 2 papers a week on the vastly interesting (can you taste the sarcasm?) worlds of Tort Law and Civil Procedure.

But anyhow.

In the last month I have stepped out of my comfort zone and and really stuck my neck out. In the end, the result wasn't what I had hoped it would be, and I am still weathering the disappointment. But mostly I'm proud of myself for trying something new.

I've learned that rejection isn't the end of the world. Even though some days it hurts like it is. I've learned that the image in your head of how things are "supposed to be" is detrimental and counter-productive to finding happiness in each day. I've learned that feelings are like waves...you can't always keep them from coming, but you can decide which one to surf.

Everyday I'm learning that if all I have in this world is Jesus, then He is More than Enough.

Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives. 

William Throsby Bridges

Hmm...Should We be Concerned? Probably.

As I was browsing through my various news haunts ( unrepentant news junkie here), a headline that should have been bigger caught my eye. "Canada Closes Embassy in Iran, To Expel Diplomats."

Erm...what?!

Canada could probably, without much argument, be considered one of the most mild mannered countries in the world. They pretty much mind their own business. And yet...they have suspended diplomatic relations with Iran. This begs the question, "What do they know that we don't?" Or rather, what do they know, that our government probably also knows, and is keeping from us?

In his press conference, Canadian Foreign Minister John Baird, cited Iran's nuclear program, their hostility towards Israel, and their assistance of the Syrian government in it's civil war as the reasoning behind this move, and said, " Iran in the biggest threat to global peace and security in the world today."

Strong words, indeed.

I have a sneaking suspicion that some super serious shenanigans are about to go down. Ladies and Gentlemen of Blog Land....the Ahmadinejad fueled Iranian Time Bomb is about to go off...and the stuff's about to hit the fan.

Mark my words!

The following link takes you to a news report about some of the ways in which Iran continues to "stir the pot".
http://news.yahoo.com/video/israel-concerned-over-irans-nuclear-004137334.html 

Musings on a Famous Lady

In continuing my study in the book of Ruth, I came across an interesting statement in the devotional book I'm reading. I think it's safe to say that we are all familiar, if only vaguely, with the concept of the Virtuous Woman so thoroughly described in Proverbs 31. According to my devotional, the only other mention of a virtuous woman, is found in Boaz's description of Ruth in Ruth chapter 3.

I think it is also safe for me to assume that most of us are familiar with Ruth's story as well. Her declaration to her mother-in-law, Naomi, of "where you go I go..." is well known, even in the secular world.

I've read Proverbs 31: 10-31 many times, but have always thought of it as good advice to save for later when I'm actually a wife. However, my study today encouraged me to break down the activities in which this Virtuous Woman was engaged, based on the following categories: Relational Duties, Household Duties, Business Duties, and Devotional Duties. As I read through the passage again, with the above categories in mind, I was surprised as to how many ways I see that I can apply these virtues to my every day life NOW. Not just in the future when I'm someones wife. These are a few of my favorite verses from the chapter:

V. 25- Strength and honour [are] her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

V. 26- She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue [is] the law of kindness.

V. 27- She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

V. 30- Favour [is] deceitful, and beauty [is] vain: [but] a woman [that] feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

This woman is a busy lady. As women today juggle the demands of raising kids and working, and as those of us who are not even yet married walk through our sometimes too busy lives, we share a common goal in our busy-ness, and that is to be the Bride of Jesus Christ Himself. 

In the most mundane of days and in the busiest of days, the Proverbs 31 Woman is clothed with strength and honor. The Bible teaches us that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. Verse 26 says clearly that when she opens her mouth, wisdom flows from it and her tongue practices kindness. So that tells me that in spite of the busy-ness of life itself, she is still making time to maintain closeness with God. The Bible also teaches us that the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked...no one can know it. If kindness and wisdom are coming from her mouth, it is because the LORD's wisdom and love are filling her heart. The love of Jesus cannot overflow from your heart and out of your mouth unless you're spending time with in prayer and in the study of His Word.

Verse 16 says, " She considers a field and buys it." This tells me that her decisions are carefully considered and prayerfully made. 

Verse 20 says, " she stretches her hands to the poor, she reaches her hands to the needy." She is not so wrapped up in her own life, the she is unaware and  complacent towards the needs of others. 

I know that for me, these are areas that I can work on. I want my decisions to be more carefully considered and God led, no matter how trivial they may seem. I want to fulfill the promises that I make to pray for others and their needs. I want to reach out and be of service, even if doing so takes me out of my comfort zone. Lastly, I want be so filled with the love of Jesus that His light shines through me and that his love is ever present in the thoughts that I think towards others and the the words that I speak to them, as well. 

Well, ladies of Blog Land...those are my humble musings on the Virtuous Woman. I encourage each of you to read Proverbs 31: 10-31 again for yourselves. Grab a piece of paper and write down the 4 categories I mentioned earlier, and then break down the Virtuous Woman's actions accordingly. Consider what areas in your life you can be more like her. I know I have a lot of work to do!

I would love to hear which verses from this chapter are your favorites and why.

To my male readers...remember...all scripture is applicable to all of us...it won't hurt you to read this chapter either. Ha.

I look forward to hearing from you all in the comments section of the post.

Happy Reading! 

* All scriptures are taken from the King James Version.
** Study and category references are taken from Living Beautifully: A study in the Books of Ruth and Esther. By Lenya Hetzig and Penny Rose. 

Risky Business

Good Morning Blog Land! It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!

I can't believe that it's only 6:30 and I'm already up. I did go to bed ridiculously early last night though, so when 5:30 rolled around this morning my body was ready to get the day started. LoL.

I've been doing a study on Ruth for the past month, using a wonderful daily bible study book called Living Beautifully. I absolutely love the layout of the book because you're not just reading, but interacting, journaling, looking up scriptures, formulating responses to some very thought provoking questions.

The name of today's study was Risk Taker. It was talking about how Ruth, in obeying her mother in law, Naomi, in going to Boaz at the threshing floor risked her reputation, as well as her emotional and physical well-being. Going in to a man and lying at his feet was something that really only prostitutes did. If she had been discovered by anyone besides Boaz, her reputation would have been forever tarnished and perhaps irredeemable. She risked her emotional well being by opening herself up to rejection from Boaz. She risked her physical well being because if he had rejected her, he may have barred her from continuing to glean in his fields, which would have had a profound effect on both Ruth and Naomi's physical well-being.

What can we give a God who already has everything? Our obedience. And sometimes, to obey God immediately, completely, and cheerfully is to take great risk. The word risk is defined as a possibility of loss or injury; peril; a dangerous element or factor. 


Sometimes it is easier to stay in the position we are currently in than to jump out of our comfort zone and risk losing something or someone. It has been my own personal experience that the times that I have taken a risk, and obeyed God, unbelievable blessings have followed that choice. Sometimes God asks us to risk what we have, so that he can give us something better.

Take a moment and answer these questions...
- I wish I had .......
- I will never regret .......
- I'm going to risk ........

To laugh is to risk appearing the fool

To weep is to risk appearing sentimental

To expose feelings is to risk exposing our true self

To love is to risk not being loved in return

To live is to risk dying

To hope is to risk despair

To try at all is risk failure

But risk we must, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. The man, the woman, who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing. 

- Anonymous

** Quotes and questions taken from:

 Living Beautifully: A Study in the Books of Ruth and Esther. By Lenya Hetzig & Penny Rose.

C'est La Vie

This has been an absolutely insane week. 


On top of putting in over 50  hours at work, my Dad had another Pericarditis bout and ended up in the hospital for a couple of days, we forgot to pay our light bill and the energy company cut the electricity to our apartment, I made a mistake in balancing my checkbook and now my checking account is almost 100 bucks in the negative. I have yet to figure out why banks charge a 30.00 overdraft fee when obviously you don't have enough money in the account to begin with....? It's kind of like kicking someone when they're already down. Anyway, it was totally my fault because I forgot to deduct something in my checkbook. C'est La Vie. Finally after six days straight of working I have a full day off. Sadly enough, I have errands I have to run, crafts to prepare for the kiddos, and grocery shopping to do for the upcoming week. But hey, at least I got to sleep in this morning. Ha. 


Anyway, because I'm in need of a little humor, I've decided to share a funny little story from a Reader's Digest gift book that someone got me for my birthday last year. Enjoy. 


One of my fourth graders asked my teacher's assistant, "How old are you, Mrs. Glass?"
"You should never ask an adult's age," I broke in. 
"That's okay," Harriet said smiling. "I'm fifty."
"Wow, you don't look that old," the boy said.
I was breathing a sigh of relief when another child chimed in, "Parts of her do."


Teehee.

Deal? Or No Deal?

My apologies for those of you who happen to be amongst my male readers, as this post is directed primarily to the ladies. All the same, I'm sure you'll find this information useful too. 


 I'm an independent woman, but I am by no means a man-hater. However, yesterday, as my sister, one of our long time friends, and I sat in our kitchen, we began chatting about a lady who recently got her groove back after her divorce. This of course led to further discussion of the men each of us have encountered in our separate lives. If I could sum up the entire conversation we had in a single sentence, I would quote the famous Maya Angelou. She said, "The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them." 


A very wise lady told me recently that one of the greatest determiners of your future happiness will be the choice you make for a spouse. This same lady told me to learn to look with my eyes and not my ears, because actions speak louder than words. It is a person's actions that show you what their true character is. 


A different lady whom I respect, who happens to be a psychologist, also told me that the greatest determination of future behavior is past behavior. 


Don't mistake me...I am a firm believer that the Blood of Jesus can change anyone and anything. But people have to want to change. 


Many older women that I have talked with whose marriages have failed, cannot stress enough to me to never, never settle. Furthermore, if you date a tiger, become engaged to a tiger, marry a tiger...don't expect to find a cheetah in the bed with you 3 months after the honeymoon. 


I count it an immense advantage to have the above information. I have no significant other, and no prospects at the moment, but I know that when the time comes, this knowledge will be worth it's weight in gold. 


For all their admirable qualities, all men have faults. When you see those faults, don't try to brush them under the rug and try to convince yourself they're not there. When someone shows you who they are...BELIEVE THEM. And then decide if that's something you can deal with...or if it's a deal breaker. 


I repeat again...


THE FIRST TIME SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE, BELIEVE THEM. 

Book Me a Room In Capacitated

I was at work on Saturday, putting in some extra hours, when I ran across a hilarious little article in a Reader's Digest magazine. It's a very clever play on words...I love it and I hope you enjoy it too!

I have been in many places but I have never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go there alone---you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. You have to be driven there, and I've made several trips, thanks to family, friends, and work. I'd like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not much into physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. I'm often in Formidable, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I get older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and the old heart pumping. And sometimes I think I am in Vincible, but life shows me I'm not. I have been in Deepdoodoo frequently. And the more adventures I have, the easier it is to end up there. 

Reader's Digest 

June 2012 Issue. 

Not a Race

Today, I performed good niece/cousin duty by taking my cousin to her orthodontics appointment this morning. As I was sitting there, swinging my foot back and forth to the christian music playing over the office speakers, a picture of a tree with a very long message underneath it, caught my eye.

Because I pretty much love the spoken and written word, it should go without saying that of course, I LOVE quotes...I mean seriously...I've only had my iPhone for about 3 weeks and I already have 4 quotes apps....Anyway...as I read this quote I hastily dug my phone out of my purse and began typing it into the note taking app.

This...is what it said...

Life is not a race--but indeed a journey. Work hard. Be choosy. Say "thank you", "I love you", and "great job!" to someone each day. Go to church. Take time for prayer. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh. Let your handshake mean more than a pen and paper. Love your life and what you've been given. It's not accidental. Search for purpose and do it as best you can. Dreaming does matter, it allows you to become that which you aspire to be. Laugh often. Appreciate the little things in life and enjoy them. Some of the best things really are free. Do not worry, less wrinkles are more becoming. Forgive--it frees the soul. Take time for yourself. Plan for longevity. Recognize the special people you've been blessed to know. Live for today. Enjoy the moment. 

~Bonnie Mohr

Take a moment...and think about that.

Birthday Girl

Well, today is a momentous occasion! On this day exactly 24 years ago, a little brown baby girl was born...and it's been one adventure after another ever since.


The following is my favorite quote about birthdays...

Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new.

-Sammy Hagar

Today is a new day with no mistakes in it yet.

~~~I want to live well

********I want to laugh lots

<3<3<3 I want to love unreservedly

Mirror

"The eyes mirror the heart of a person. An entire life can be seen through them. Love, sorrow, deceit, pain. If you look closely, it’s all there." 

-Gail Tsukiyama

The Language of Threads

(c)  Gail Tsuikyama

Strong Shoes

This next quote has brought me tremendous comfort on even the hardest of days. It was first said by Corrie Ten Boom, survivor of a Nazi Prison Camp during World War II. Words can often mean nothing, but coming from a woman who, in the face of the Nazi Regime, hid Jews in her home, until her actions were discovered by the authorities, was thereafter imprisoned, forced to work with little food, watched her sister die, and who only survived herself because of a clerical error....well...these words are powerful. 

"If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided with strong shoes."

- Corrie Ten Boom

***For anyone looking for a good, thought provoking read, I highly recommend Corrie Ten Boom's book, The Hiding Place. 

Tattered, Ground, and Sliced

I do realize, of course, that we are already in the 2nd week of August. It has also dawned on me that it was been over a week since my last post...and what's the point of having a blog if you're not going to...well...blog?

For the last month or so, The Adventures of Rachel, have been quite adventurous. This should, in theory, provide me with copious amounts of blog feed, but alas, it is not so, dear World. 

It seems that during this time of rapid change, my brain is only continuing to function because it is partially still stunned, and the resulting numbness doesn't leave a lot of room for extra thinking. I actually think that my cognitive processes have slowed down . So...don't expect anything shell-shocking or incredibly witty or pithy coming form this corner of the World Wide Web for a while.  

This month, I have decided to be completely unoriginal and merely present the writings of others in each post. Some days they may be clever little one liners, and on others they may be paragraph long quotes from some of my favorite books. If the fancy hits me, I may attempt to explain why a certain passage means so much to me. 

I greatly encourage all of you to comment on posts that catch your eye or resound on some level with you. I would love to get some discussion going, but I need the help of my readers to do that, otherwise this blog is really just me pontificating all the time, and that...is not cool!

Without further ado, I present to you the first quote of the month. I have posted this quote before, and I have found, now, more than ever, that it applies to me! Remember! Comment, comment comment! I want to know if and how you can relate!

" Thank you Rosvita. But so that you are fully informed--my nerves are in tatters; my psyche has been ground to pieces in a mental garbage disposal; and my emotions have been through a meat slicer. I cry easily, although I have made serious efforts not to cry for the last twelve years. I am prone to embarrassing outbursts. I have recently made rash and wild decisions, but have yet to regret any of them. I have found that I have a vindictive and vengeful side and am pleased to welcome it into the fold of my other personality characteristics. I am simply," I told her, "not altogether."

Excerpt from The Last Time I Was Me

By Cathy Lamb

(c) 2008