ViSalus & Contractions

I officially feel like I've been run over by a truck...that then backed up and then ran over me again just for good measure. Blah. I can't be 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure this is all my own fault.

Since the middle of August, I have been doing ViSalus, which is a meal replacement plan, where you drink shakes 2 times a day instead of what would be your normal meal. All of the plans differ and some plans only require you to replace 1 meal a day. It really just depends on what you're trying to accomplish. I'm happy to announce that after 1 month of ViSalus I have lost exactly 12 pounds! And that's with minimal exercise. I hate exercising.

My sister is a promoter for ViSalus and I have to admit that when she first started talking about it, I was more than a little skeptical. However, when I finally decided to try it for myself and then proceeded to lose 3 pounds in the first week...well...I was a believer!

At the risk of sounding like one of those infomercials, I will say that I have never felt better about my body, and I have also never had more energy. I am on the plan to replace 2 meals a day, so for me, that is breakfast and lunch. You know that feeling you get after you eat lunch and then go back to work and then have to fight to stay awake? I haven't had that experience since I started ViSalus! It really has been amazing. I've lost 12 pounds and only have 18 more to go!

Anyhow, I digress.

The blah feeling.

Have I mentioned I'm an emotional eater? And that for the last week, I've kept forgetting to refill my anti-depressant medication? Ha. So yesterday, the whole time I was at work, I was feeling a bit blue, and started craving something fatty, cheesy, and meaty. I wanted a huge burrito from Puerto Vallarta! I asked my dear baby sister if she wanted to come along after work and she declined. Boo on her.

I, however, remedied that situation by stopping at Moe's. My favorite thing to get there? The Homewrecker Burrito. It's HUGE. I mean, like, a burrito as big as your head. So I ordered it in all of it's burrito-y goodness, filled to bursting with beef, cheese, lettuce, guacamole, sour cream and rice. And of course, you can't go to Moe's without getting a cup of their creamy queso.

So, quite excited, I rushed home, to settle into my PJs and start chowing down. And chow down I did...until I ate the WHOLE thing AND half of the cup of queso.

It was delicious. I enjoyed Every. Single. Bite.

Until about 20 minutes later. Dear Lord, did that burrito wreck my life!

What was I thinking? What with the shakes and really only eating one real meal a day, my stomach has shrunk considerably. And I just stuffed a burrito as big as my head into it? What a stupid little girl I am.

Fast-forward to today. I get up this morning, quite excited that the kids are on fall break and that I don't have to work...and proceed to the bathroom to um...drop some friends off at the pool. Ha. Well when I go back to lay down I am hit with pain so severe  I literally double over. I head back to the bathroom. Nothing happened. I head back to the bed. Gut-wrenching pain again. Head back to the bathroom. Nothing happened. This continues for over an hour and I take gas-pills AND Pepto Bismol. But I'm still experiencing burrito induced contractions every 3 to 4 minutes.

*Sigh*

I finally decided that I was just going to have to ride this out...or go to the ER. So, I curled up into a ball in my bed and rode the burrito waves until I fell asleep. About every hour I would be awakened from some very strange dreams by a particularly painful burrito contraction. And would then contemplate heading to the ER before drifting back in to sleep land.

Finally at 3:30 (that's in the P.M.) I woke up and didn't feel any pain radiating from by stomach region. Yes, people of blog-land, I had burrito contractions for 5 hours!

I am happy to say that the contractions have subsided, but my stomach is still not feeling very regular. I have had 1 shake today and half a cup of coffee and it looks like soup will be all I will be having for dinner. But I consider this a lesson learned. 2 lessons learned actually.

1. I will never live through child-birth.

2. Don't stuff a burrito that's as big as your head into your tummy that has shrank to the size of a lemon!

Just Say No!

It is 9 in the evening, I've been awake since 5 this morning, I'm exhausted, lately I've had trouble sleeping, I just took a sleeping pill, and I have a Twinkie and a chocolate Hostess cupcake in my possession. I want to sleep tonight. I also want very much to eat that Twinkie.

You may be asking yourself, "What's the big deal? Just eat the Twinkie!". *Sigh*. Under normal circumstances, I would, in fact, just eat the Twinkie. My concern, however, is that the massive amount of sugar that makes up probably 99.9% of this delicious, cream filled cake, will somehow work against me in my quest to experience a full night of uninterrupted slumber.

BUT. I do believe that at this very moment, from my particular spot on my bed, with the door closed, I can hear that Twinkie calling my name. "Raaaaaccchhhheeelllll! Raaaaaccchhheeellll! It's me, your little Twinkie friend. I'm golden, spongey, soft, and filled with the smoothest cream you ever tasted. C'mon, just take one bite!"

I really want this Twinkie.

I really want to sleep.

I don't want to spend my night tossing and turning because I couldn't exhibit the self-control of a responsible adult and just say no to the Twinkie.

Hmmmmmmm........

Thinking......

Thinking.......

Thinking.......


Deciding...........







Ok...for now, sleep wins. I can only hope and pray that I don't wake up in the morning to  find a wrapper next to me in bed, with sticky fingers and cream on the sides of my mouth!

A Broke Girl and Her Spaghetti

As I left work this evening, I prayed aloud in the car "LORD, please let me find some spaghetti noodles in the back of the pantry". I was serious. I have been craving spaghetti ever since I got the movie Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs for Christmas, and had not been able to satisfy this carbohydrate craving yet.

Why? Well...payday isn't until tomorrow and being the financial wizard that I am (HA) I have overstretched my account, and I only have exactly enough to ensure my account won't go into the negative. Oh rest assured, I'm not starving by any means, in fact, if I'm to go by what the mirror tells me every morning as I exit the shower, I could stand to skip a few meals, anyway, I digress. I have exactly all the odds and ends in my fridge and pantry that under normal circumstances amount to absolutely nothing meal-wise, but in overstretched bank account circumstances amount to a lot.

Miracle of miracles! In my pasta storage container there were SPAGHETTI NOODLES!!

A friend at work was just telling me about a new way she seasoned her noodles, and not having anything but one 8 ounce can of plain 'ol tomato sauce for flavor, I decided to give it a try. Anyone else love the way fresh garlic smells as it sizzles in the skillet? Mmmm. I let the garlic saute in the oil for a few minutes and then added the cooked noodles. I added some more garlic and gave it a taste test. Bland. This situation called for some salt. And Basil. Mmm, definitely gettin' somewhere now, but it still needed something. Ahh! What is pasta without cheese?! I decided against cheddar and went with the rich, smoky provolone instead. Divinity in and of itself. At this point, however, because I had only ripped up the provolone slice into pieces and let it melt over the noodles, I had clumps of cheese stuck to only a few sections of the noodles. LoL. I pulled the cheese/noodle clumps apart with two forks and did another taste...it could use more provolone. This time, however, I got smart and melted the cheese in the microwave first( and added a little milk) and Voila!  A delicious cheese sauce to pour over the noodles. I poured the cheese and then added half of the can of tomato sauce. Zeee pastaaa was ready!

Now, anyone who knows anything about food knows that you can't eat pasta without bread! Unfortunately, all I had was a loaf of wheat bread. Even though this feels like the end of the world, I assure you it's not. When you're bank account challenged, food improvisation is KEY.  I'll let you in on a little secret. Take a slice of the bread, and cut it in half. Warm up another skillet and put a light layer of olive oil in the bottom. When the skillet is hot, add the bread. When it's browned on one side, turn it over. Now, I usually put it on a paper towel to let some of the oil soak out, but that's just me. Lastly, rub each side of the bread with a piece of garlic that you have sliced in half aaaannndddd......PRESTO! You have garlic Texas toast!

How did it all taste? Like the nectar of the gods. Or maybe I was just really hungry and needed a carb fix(which I got). So now, I'm sitting back, legs propped up and belly poked out, and completely satisfied. Anyone have any ideas for dessert?

The Finished Product