Tick-Tock...the Clock Has Stopped

I think I'm losing my mind.


On a busy day, my job is home to about 1,000 people. At just about every corner that I turn, there is a pregnant woman. Some of them are newly pregnant, their baby bump just barely showing, some have a very cute little basketball belly, and others are about ready to pop. Whatever stage of pregnancy these women are in, I have found the sight of them increasingly beautiful. 


This morning, when I rolled out of bed and went into my sister's bedroom, she was awake and watching the movie, Father of the Bride 2. I walked in on the scene were both the mother and the daughter had just gone into labor. It's a hilarious scene, as George(played by comedian Steve Martin) is practically passed out from some non-FDA approved sleeping pill that Frank (pronounced Fronk) had given him. As the movie proceeded and the babies were born, I felt myself getting teary eyed as I watched George hold his new born daughter in one arm, and his new born grandson in the other. 


I want one!


Like I said...I must be losing my mind.


I have worked as a child care provider for many years, half of that time spent with toddlers, and the other half spent in the nursery with the babies. So, I am no stranger to the enormous amount of work that children entail. Still...I have increasingly found the idea of having children of my own, sooner rather than later, less and less repulsive. 


Perhaps it's my age. I mean, I will be 25 this year. In the past, I had always said that I wanted to be married by the time I was 25 and finished having kids by the time I was 30. Haha. With a husband no where in sight, my infertility diagnosis, and my upcoming birthday, it looks like the chances of that happening are slim to none. 


For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure when I was a teenager. At age 16, my biological clock stopped ticking, and I was told that I had about a 4% chance of conceiving a child on my own. Even though I was only 16, as you could imagine, I was quite devastated. 


That was almost 10 years ago. I've learned to accept the disorder, and I've taken the time to talk with my doctor about alternative options.  I could always get an egg donor and try In Vitro fertilization. But the costs of that are astronomical and not guaranteed to work. There's also always adoption. 


Still, I find that there's just something so beautiful about actually growing a child inside of your own body and giving birth. The entire process is miraculous and amazing. However, God may have different plans for my life. Whether he heals my body and allows me to conceive, or whether he places a child in my life to adopt...I am looking forward to being a mom. 


Wow. I can't believe I just said that! Ha. I must be insane! 


If you would like to learn more about Premature Ovarian Failure, follow the link below:


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Premature_ovarian_failure