I Am Who I Am Because of Where I've Been

What is it that makes some people so unpleasant to be around? I definitely have my share of bad days, when I'm sure I'm less than fun to be with, but then...who doesn't? On a normal basis, however, most people at least try to be civil. But what about those "other" people. The ones who aren't so pleasant to interact with?

Each individual person is complex. There are millions of tiny little things that are involved in their make up. Childhood, home life, financial situation, religious upbringing, friendships....the list goes on. In short, people are who they are because of where they have been. In essence, I  am the sum total of my life experiences. 

You may be wondering, dear world, where exactly this is going. I'll explain. I'm currently in a situation where I am forced to deal with someone on a daily basis who can be, shall we say, a little hard to deal with. I am trying to figure out why they are the way they are, in an effort to understand them better and to be less affronted by their behavior. As I discussed this issue with a friend of mine, we came to the conclusion that this person has probably experienced some hurtful things in their lifetime that have left them full of emotional baggage and insecurities. As we further discussed this revelation, I was not sympathetic. My attitude probably sounded something like this, " Boo hoo. So you had a rough life. You have emotional scars. So do millions of other people. That's no reason to be unpleasant all of the time."

My friend, however, quickly convinced me to be a little more sympathetic. She reminded me that we are all human, we all have our baggage, insecurities, and triggers that cause us to act in a way that is sometimes...less than pleasant. She is, of course, right. But when someone is rude or mean to you pretty much all the time...well...it's hard to keep in mind that, "Oh, this person is just insecure because they were bullied as a child".

I don't know what this person's life has been like, but I can guess from their demeanor, attitude, and superiority complex, that some of it was painful. In looking at them I am more aware of how I do NOT want to be. No, my life certainly has not been a bed of roses. Things have gone wrong in the past, and I'm sure that some things will go wrong in my future. The key is remembering what these things have taught me, and to let each painful experience enhance my life, instead of diminishing it; to let my experiences make me better and not bitter. 

Life is not easy for anyone. Why make it more difficult for yourself and others by being rude, mean, overly critical, and generally unpleasant to those who come into contact with you? 

So what am I going to do about this? Heap coals of fire on this poor soul's head. Even though it would be easier to just be nasty in return...I'm going to smile, and be as cheerful and happy as I can be. In the words of an author unknown, "A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it".