Run as Fast as You Can!

I was just sitting here, sipping on some peppermint tea, when the thought occurred to me, "you haven't blogged in over a week". Guess I should get on that, eh?

Well, what's the topic today Blogospehere? Pick your poison....actually I'm going to pick it for you.

I've got two topics rolling around in my mind and can't really figure out which one is more blog worthy at the moment.

Decisions, decisions...

Ok...I've got it.

I recently had a conversation with one of my friends about guys.

She asked me, "what does it mean when a guy says he can't give you what you want" but continues to talk to you as if you're still in a relationship?

With as serious a face as I could muster, I told her it means, " Run as fast as you can in the other direction. Do NOT pass go, Do NOT collect $200. Just RUN."

Her eyes got wide and her mouth fell open.

I snorted and then laughed.

I don't think that's what she was expecting to hear. Although I was kidding around with her, I was mostly serious. My own personal experience with relationships has taught me that what's really going on in a guy's head when he pulls the, "I can't give you what you want" is as follows, quoting from a fellow blogger,

‘I’ve told you that I cannot give you what you want. I am giving you a heads up and if you don’t have enough self-respect to move on and you stick around, I am not responsible for any pain that you may experience, even if I continue to get an ego stroke or lean on your shoulder and moan. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because I’m still around that I’m in a position to give you what you want – I’m not, but I am all out for getting my own needs met if you’re going to stick around and let me use you up.’

A bit blunt, but true nonetheless.  A decent guy will not only tell you he can't give you what you want, he will actually remove himself from the relationship and move on, allowing you the chance to do the same. A not-so decent guy? He's the one that will stick around to enjoy the fringe benefits, while you remain miserable because although you have a non-relationship relationship (ha, think about that one)it's not the kind of relationship you want, need, or deserve.

Quoting Natalie Lue again,

When a man makes statements like ‘I can’t give you what you want’ and stays in the relationship he’s a lazy man who is reshaping the relationship on his terms and trying to manage down your needs and expectations so that he can get his needs met with minimal contribution while marginalizing your own needs. He knows you’re not ‘the one’ but he’s OK with passing time. He’s saying ‘I can’t be the man you want but if you’re OK with sticking around for some sub par treatment, what kind of man would I be to pass up the fringe benefits?

I promise I'm not a she-woman man hater. These are, however, the facts of the matter, as I and plenty of other women have experienced them.

The conversation ended with her being thoroughly disgusted with the male in question and I have to admit, I was a little irritated too. But I couldn't place too much blame on this guy's shoulders. She was, after all, allowing the behavior to occur and we teach people how to treat us by what we accept from them.

She was also looking for a hidden meaning to his words. There weren't any. She simply didn't want to accept the fact that she was being very gently "let down".

Let me clarify, there is nothing wrong with a man telling a girl that he can't give her what she needs. What IS wrong is when after telling her that, he stays in the relationship or non-relationship or whatever he wants to call it. And then he says the girl is acting like a victim because she breaches the subject of his dismissal of her needs. " Well, I told you not to expect anything from me. I told you I couldn't be what you needed". And in his mind his hands are clean. He did, after all, tell you that. It's not his fault you stayed.

Ugh. What complete and utter rubbish.

His hands are NOT clean.

Ok. So maybe I am a she-woman man hater. Haha. I do have a bee in my bonnet and a bone to pick with the men who think they've gotten over on us women.

News Flash: THEY HAVE NOT.

Women of the World! In the words of Mrs. Banks...Cast off the shackles of yesterday!

Ok.

I'll get down from my soap box now.

Thoughts, Blog Land?

All quotes credited to: Reader Question: What does it mean when a man says, 'I can't give you what you want'? By Natalie Lue author of Baggage Reclaim

Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving people of Blog Land!

The turkey is finished cooking and we are waiting for all the side dishes to warm. Mmm.

My Mom and my aunts are bustling around in the kitchen, my cousins and my sister and I are giggling and playing Wii games in the living room, and from upstairs I can hear my step-dad and boy cousin yelling at the football games on the TV. It's the sound of the things that I love the most and that today, I am MOST thankful for...my family.

The last few years have been rough as we've weathered cancer, deaths, more cancer scares, divorces, and surgeries. We're missing my Granny of course, but her loss has made us band together even more.

So, I thank the LORD that he has brought all of us safely together for one more year and I pray that you and yours will have a wonderful and family filled day of fun and food!

The Lord bless thee and keep thee: The LORD make His Face to shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The LORD lift up His Countenance upon thee and give thee peace. 

Numbers 6:24-27 

Thankful: Parenting Experience

Greetings and Salutations citizens of the blogosphere!

I know that in my last post I promised to write a post each day until Thanksgiving, counting down the days by reflecting on things that I'm thankful for. Well, it just hasn't happened. Life in all it's grandiose busy-ness has, as it's prone to do, gotten in the way. I've been meaning to write, it's just that I've been writing so many other things, that the blog, unfortunately is at the bottom of the to-do list.

For those of you who may be wondering, yes, I am still working on my NaNoWriMo novel. Just last night I passed the 20,000 word mark and I'm still  about 8,000 words behind. Sigh. Oh well. I'll catch up. Eventually.

Anyway...what I'm thankful for...

Today I'm thankful for my job. Of course, I'm thankful for it because it allows me to pay my bills, etc, etc. But I'm mostly thankful for the experiences it's allowing me to have before I have kids of my own.

In today's society of sometimes extreme feminism, the role of a mother is often downplayed and in today's career minded society, being a stay at home mom is often looked down upon, especially by other women. I think that the thought process of a lot of women is, "Women can do and be anything they want to be now days."

 " Why would anyone want to be a stay at home mom?"

Let me exlplain.

I do not consider myself to be a feminist or anything extreme. I have very high expectations for myself and career goals. However, if and when the time ever comes where I am afforded the wonderful privilege to be a mommy, and if my financial status allows, I will leave my job to stay at home with my kids. I have no idea what my future holds or the kind of job that my future spouse will hold, but hopefully it will be something that will be sufficient enough to allow me to stay at home.

But why Rachel you ask. Why?

In the last year I have navigated meltdowns, built 4000 piece lego buildings, gone on too many zoo trips to count, played basketball, gone to doctor's appointments and allergy shots twice a week, broke up sibling fights, read parenting books, gone to swim practices and swim competitions, gone to gymnastics, bandaged scraped knees, dried tears, and soothed hurt feelings, attended class parties, gone to soccer games, school performances, and taught skills like tying shoe laces. I can tell when they've had a rough day at school and when they're just plain tuckered out. I've been told "I hate you", I've been hit, pinched, kicked, and scratched. I've had toy blocks thrown at me. I've also been told, "I love you Rachel", and been smothered with kisses and hugs.

 I have been a part time parent.

I have experienced so many things with these kids and their parents have missed so much.  If I was a parent, I'd be devastated to pass off these experiences to someone else. The sad thing is, though, that I don't think they realize what they're missing. These people are millionaires and they work all the time to maintain that lifestyle. Besides the time when they're getting the kids ready for school in the mornings, they probably spend a total of about 3 hours with their kids before they put them to bed for the night. 3 hours in a 24 hour day. Unspeakably sad.

Now I know that it is a privilege to be able to stay at home with your kids and it's a privilege that many women would love to have but simply cannot afford/ I am in no way knocking the moms who have  to work. I'm just saying that I realize how much working moms miss and in the future, if I can avoid that, hopefully I will.

So, today, I'm thankful for my job, stressful and thankless as it may seem at times. It's afforded me a viewpoint that I may have otherwise never had the opportunity to have.

Thankful: My Only Man of the Hour

It's hard to believe that exactly a week from today will be Thanksgiving Day. When November 1st came, the end of the month seemed so far a way, and yet here we are, almost at the end.

As is my habit, starting today I will begin a countdown of the things I'm most grateful for, from the mundane to the hugely important. Given my current computer situation, the next seven days of posts may be a little less detailed than normal, but hey, a little is better than nothing at all, right?

Right.

So today, I am thnakful for my man of the hour. Actually my man of any hour. The guy who, my sister informed me today, started looking for me 5 minutes at a time out of the blinds in our living room when it got to be past the time I normally come home.

My cuddle buddy, pillow, wordless comedian, daily alarm clock, perfect listener, unrepentant kisser, and the best friend any single gal could have...ladies and gentlemen of blog land...today I am thankful for my doggie companion Mr. Oliver!

To him I dedicate this blusey ballad sung by Ms. Norah Jones, who is also a fellow dog lover.
Listen to the lyrics...hysterically cute and SO perfect!

Run In with Murphy

Nine days into NaNoWriMo and disaster has struck. Or rather Murphy with his dumb law has.

After my coffee was brewing and the dog had been taken out, I hopped back into the bed, plugged in my trusty Macbook and got ready to do some writing while the inspiration was freshly pumping into my brain.

I pressed the power button.

Nothing happened.

I pressed it again.

NOTHING HAPPENED.

Was the outlet not working? Had a fuse blown?

I looked at the little light on the power adapter cord. Or rather, I looked where the light should've have been. It was dark. No little green light was glowing back at me.

I felt panic rising up in my chest and the anxiety that is never very far away welled in my stomach and rose into my chest, threatening to cut off my air supply.

Ok. So. Admittedly I'm being a little dramatic. Ok. A lot dramatic. I, did, however, start to panic. I have research to do for school, papers to write, a PowerPoint to put together for Sunday, and a book to write!

This is NOT a good time for this to happen!

Here's the deal with my power adapter. It's the only problem I've ever had in the 4 years I've had the computer. Well that, and the fact that I need a new battery. So, when roughly a year or so ago, the power cord started to fray and eventually just broke in half, I replaced it with a cheap generic adapter from some company off of Amazon. As I now see, not the best choice as far as quality goes, but 20 bucks is a lot better than paying 80 from the Apple store. Did I mention that I never replaced the battery (which is $130 from Apple)? So, the Mac only works when plugged into the wall.

Suffice it to say, I wish I would've just bit the bullet and bought an adapter and cord from Apple. Besides the fact that I'm in the middle of writing a book that must be completed by November 30th, it is also roughly 5 weeks from the end of the semester, also known as, crunch time and the time when professors throw everything at you at once. Until I can get to work on Monday and use my bosses power cord, I have no way to access the information on my computer.

Haha. Oh the tragedy of it all.

In the mean time, I'm trying desperately to remember what the last thing I wrote in my book and pick up from there using my sister's laptop. I'm SO glad that she has a computer now, even though it's tough to share when we both have online classes. It is, however, better than nothing at all.

And it's getting to be that time of year where it becomes necessary to purchase presents for family and friends...what a perfect time to have to shell out $250 for computer parts.

BUT! I REMEMBERED THIS....

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to [his] purpose. Romans 8:28
 

Counting it all JOY, Blog Land!

A Peek into a Writer's Mind

I never thought I would say this, but I think I'm on a word overload. Ha.

With only 5 weeks left in the semester, my assignments are getting decidedly more complex and the reading has gone from 1 chapter a week to about 3 chapters per class. A lot to digest whilst also trying to write a 50,000 word book in 30 days. It also happens to be my turn to teach the Upper Room kids, so I'm studying and trying to prepare for that as well.

Yet, I love a good challenge and I like being kept busy. You know that old saying? It's true.

Idle Hands are the Devil's Workshop

So, to keep myself and my overly analytical mind out of trouble, I stay busy.

Anyhow, the book is proceeding, though, I regret to say that I am already a bit behind. I wasn't able to write at all over the weekend and that really slowed me down. As of right now I have 6,336 words. I'm trying desperately to catch up and hope to have at least 11,000 by the end of the day. Here's a little sample...

Lucy let out another sigh and for the first time looked at her surroundings. She was standing in what appeared to be a large fenced in barnyard. Beyond it she could see a farmhouse and even further away she could see fields of corn and soybean. What could possibly be hidden on this farm that she needed to find? And how could she look if she didn’t know what she was looking for?

She sat down on a bale of hay and stared off vacantly in the direction of the corn field.

“ You must be the new pig.”

Startled, Lucy, fell off of the hay bale. Her fall was met by immediate snickers from just about every corner of the yard. As she righted herself and hastily readjusted her glasses and her clothing, she noticed a pig, standing upright on it’s two hind legs, looking at her rather quizzically. She glanced away to see who else was in the yard and was surprised to find a goose, her gander, a horse, and a huge spider hanging from a web.

I beg your pardon? She asked dumbly.

“ I said, you must be the new pig”, the pig repeated.

Lucy was about to reply to the negative when she noticed that the pig was wearing faded jeans, and a flannel checkered shirt. “Uhhh….” She started weakly.

“ Templeton was right” the pig said loudly, “this pig is a complete idiot!”. This announcement brought another round of laughter from the yard.

“Excuse me!” Lucy said, once again indignant. “ I am not a pig, you are!”

The pig appeared to take great offense at this statement. He started to make a snuffling sound, and began to clicking his two front hooves together.

“And I’m not an idiot!” Lucy continued, “I’m just completely out of my element! I’m looking for Professor Fanglethorn and I’ve had to come here to find him and I don’t understand why he would be in a barnyard with all these rude animals!” She paused here, out of breath. She was about to speak again when the pig started to speak.

“ I take the utmost umbrage at being characterized by the likes of you as a pig. I  am a person and it is undisputed that you are the pig. 

My wife and I are the owners of this farm and it was Fanglethorn who gave you to us to eat for Christmas Dinner.”

Upon hearing this, Lucy’s eyes started blinking rapidly again behind her glasses and her mouth, which had dropped open during the Pig’s speech, began opening and closing soundlessly.

The spider, who had been silent up to this point, dropped further down from the web on which she had been hanging and said in what she obviously thought was a whisper to the Pig, “ Are you sure she’s a pig? Look at the way she opens and closes her mouth, Wilbur. She seems more like a cod fish to me.”

Lucy clamped her mouth together so hard that her teeth rattled.

“I see where you’re coming from, Charlotte” Wilbur answered the Spider, “ but she’s definitely a pig. Professor Fanglthorn said so, and just look at her.”

Lucy felt all eyes in the yard turn to her. This was getting more and more uncomfortable by the minute.

“Uh, look”, she began. “I’m sure there’s been some kind of misunderstanding. Professor Fanglethorn is  is my advisor. He would never have sent me anywhere to be eaten for Chrsitmas dinner.”

Even as she spoke the words she was struck by the absurdity of the whole scenario. The Pig ignored her and Charlotte said rather nastily, “And yet, here you are”.

“This is your new home Piggy Girl, at least for the next few weeks”, “Wilbur chuckled deviously. He then opened the gate to the yard and walked in the direction of the farm house. “ I still say you’re a cod fish”,Charlotte said meanly before scurrying back into the rafters of the barn. 

And that, Ladies & Gentlemen of Blog Land, is a little peek into my NaNoWriMo madness! Teehee. 

Writers Start Your Engines & In Other News...

Fellow writers of the world! Start your engines!

Yes Blog Land, today is officially the first day of NanoWriMo! 10 hours into the day and  I haven't written a word. Ha. But, never fear, my outline was completed earlier this week and I will begin writing this evening.

1600 words a day for the next 30 days...

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can....

This is going to truly be a test of the will as I will have to discard my procrastinator tendencies to do what I am setting out to.

In other Wonderland news, in an effort to realize my 30 Before 30 goal of taking at least one picture everyday for the next year, I have joined Instagram. So, if you're a fellow Instagram-er, then you can find me by searching for either RachieT or rachelinathumbelina.

On a serious note, have you ever noticed that God is faithful to test your choices? Often times, we mistakenly think that once we make a choice that's the end of it. However, think of it this way...when we make difficult decisions for Christ, we can think of that choice as being a block of ice. Many times, not too long after we make this choice, certain situations will arise that will make us second guess our decision or even want to go back on that decision...situations that could "melt" the solidity of the choice we made. And in this place, we are faced with making that choice all over again. But in making that choice over and over again, we are in fact solidifying our stand, faith, and trust in the LORD. Remember, Galatians 6:9 says,

Let us not be weary in well doing: for in season we shall reap, if we faint not.

Just a little food for thought to carry with you through the day!