Today, another of my very close friends, got married. The chapel where the ceremony was held was beautifully decorated in pink and black, the bridesmaids were arrayed in the same, and the bride was beyond radiant. She glowed.
I have been very vocal this past week about how much I hate weddings, that when it's my turn I'm going to elope...blah, blah, blah. Well, folks...I take it all back, because I realized that I do not hate weddings...I just don't particularly like weddings that aren't mine. Yeah, it sounds horrible I know, and perhaps hate is too strong a word, but as I've stated in previous postings, I have been in at least one wedding for the last 4 years. With the news of each new engagement, with each picture text received of the engagement ring, with each dress fitting, rehersal dinner, and ceremony, my despair would grow as what I ultimately want is once again waved before my face, only to remind me of what I do not have. So, to protect my soft heart that breaks a little bit more with each passing wedding, my mouth utters the hard words "I hate weddings". I don't, actually. At the risk of sounding cliched, I'll say that they are beautiful events that capture the beauty of newfound love. Corny? Perhaps. True nonetheless? Yes.
So, to all of you who have heard that phrase uttered from my mouth these last few weeks, please disregard them, and know that I've said those words to shield myself from my discouragement and the fear that while my friends start their married lives together, have families, etc, I will forever be alone...You have your coping mechanisms...I have mine.
I know what colors I want. I know what songs I want sung. I know who my bridesmaids will be. I know that I want it to be very small, with only our closest friends and family attending. I know that I want an evening wedding, and a reception area with a dance floor, so that I can dance with my dad and hubby in turn. Yes, I have very grandiose schemes and plans...I only lack one thing...the Groom. Teehee. It's ok. I know he'll get here in time. I've often joked with my friends, that my husband is in Africa, he's walking, then he has to get in a row boat, then he has to walk some more...I could very well be 30 before he gets here. LOL. But of this I am sure, he IS coming. Ha.
"...Thus grew the tale of Wonderland: Thus slowly one by one, it's quaint events were hammered out- and now the tale is done...the dream child moving through a land of wonders wild and new, In friendly chat with bird
or beast-and half believe it true..." -Lewis Carroll
No comments:
Post a Comment